Tonite is a Thursday, which is not really special except that I have changed this as the day in which I make offerings to the Ancestors and Mighty Dead. Usually I did it on Sundays a day that in most families is time spent together going to church and probably coming home to eat a big dinner together. In memory of these days of bbq and fried chicken, I honor my beloved dead with things they might have liked in this last incarnation and light their way with a special candle. The weekends this summer are getting really hectic and I am not as dutifully tending to the Ancestors as consistently as I would like, so am experimenting with a little change. This inspired me to think about my own 'soul', the spirit which resides in this body, or whatever else is attached to the 'me' in this lifetime. I have always liked the ancient Egyptian description/definition of what makes up the soul of each person. It is not a single entity... the ethereal body is made up of several different 'parts' with each representing different functions in the spiritual body. There is the Ab (heart and moral compass), Akhu (what is immortal and neverending), Sahu (the vessel of metaphysical manifestation), the Ba (personality), Ren (true name, essential Be-ing), Khabait (the shadow self), Sekhem (what is worked with and projected spiritually) and the Ka (our general life force which comes into Be-ing at our birth). I connect with this image of Ka and Ba... Be-ing having multidimensional levels and roles to play in the cosmic drama of this Life. But although this compartmentalizing of soul is very advanced, it answers many metaphysical problems I have meditating on over the years.
For example, if I have an “out of body experience”, does that mean my body/vessel is no longer alive? Is there part of me still left behind, as an anchor? I have no magick cord people speak of to tie me down. I understand how this works now, but as a young witchlet learning to do this on my own it was scary and difficult. I can see how when I have a past life experience or memory, I am actually re-connecting with that part of my soul that is still back in whenever... like when I remember Be-ing a temple Priestess in ancient Egypt, a lesser wife of Pharoah; something many people say they were. Time does not work the way we think it does... it is existing now in somewhere else in the fabric of the Multiverse. I know.. this is heavy, but think of a spiderweb or blanket, where each thread is connected to something else weaving a huge tapestry. Well, if I pluck this string, it vibrates to another and another... the pieces of my soul which are all over as stardust and energies re-making and manifesting... and anchoring my 'fetch', my Akhu, into that place in time. This is how I am able to 'remember' so many of my past lives.
And what of reincarnation? Is there room for it in the paradigm of the multiverse? Of COURSE it does! The Sahu leaves an imprint, manifested physically... and nothing physically ever dies, it simply changes form. When my body decomposes, it returns to the stardust, composting the Universe and spreading throughout the cosmos. 'I' become a flower, an animal, a molecular spot in the vast array we call Life. So whether we believe in it or not, it is there and I acknowledge it.
I am now in the circle of my Khabait the shadowed Be-ing I hide from most; this used to be due to shame. I recognize and celebrate the death of my ego... the letting go of what does not serve me. Among the tombs of offered flowers, shrines with incense and funerary processions underway as several elders I know are in the process of dying, or have recently, I offer to the ancestors and gift sustenance as they prepare for the greatest journey they will ever repeat.
I celebrate the Ba as my daemon, higher self and the Fawn who is placed in the forefront of my Be-ing. She is my shield, my humor, the worldly lady of letters and education. I see Her as the Devotee of Hekate, Daughter of Hathor, and Lover of Dark Gods. I hope to improve this part of my Self and am perpetually transforming it into a truer and genuine manifestation, without Be-ing so raw there is a naivete.
I work with Sekhem in my magicks... it is the raw energy-stuff of the universe. We can all tap into it, there is an un-ending supply for all. It is not white light and love, but it is not darkness and despair either... it is the un-biased, liminal energy waiting to be trans-personal power to those who know how. It is natural, unforced and tremendous. I am blessed with a talent for manipulating and sending this energy, and embrace this with all the other parts of my spirit. It permeates all that I do and love.
Ren is my Holy Guardian Angel, the one to meet and reveal to me my True Will. I have not learned it's name, although I see it in symbols and other arcane languages used by the high Be-ings and consciousness of the Multiverse. I do not understand mathemathics, physics, and the language of alchemy. But I do know the Humanities, the soul of humans as an expression of art. This is the language of the heart, of angels and demons in our circle... the barbarous words of dreams. Receiving the images words are at a loss as meditation and trance are truly the keys.